Category: Rez Notes

When holidays collide

I was recently at the local store when I noticed a strange thing: Valentine’s Day items were slowly being edged out by Easter offerings. I checked the date quickly to see if I didn’t have some kind of two-week memory lapse and yes, it was still the first week of ... read more ››

Fog and other predictions

Looking outside one morning early January, I couldn’t see much. Some mysterious ultra-thick cloud saturated with tiny see-through snowflakes, commonly called snow fog, had dropped a blanket over the land that would blind us for days. Wow, snow fog. What next? Ice tornados that will be eventually coined “upside down ice ... read more ››

The Christmas hunt

The battle ensued for the last Wii game in town. Angry, stressed parents and virtual golf addicts were jostling like NHL enforcers in a popular downtown store in Montreal, beating the heck out of each other in the name of peace, cheery spirits and goodwill to all mankind. The bout lasted ... read more ››

Wino chiyeyo

I watch a lot of TV to learn a lot of things. I tried tuning in to the youth channels and found out that, hey, youth is cool. They got something that I wished I had: a cool today, gone tomorrow type of attitude. Like, who cares? What I do ... read more ››

Living green is profitable

Green is everywhere you go, on the back and front pages of magazines, science shows, sprouted by political wannabes on television, people talking about their carbon imprint. It’s all about the current state of the biological world, which is now determined to be dismal. Go green, stay green, and use ... read more ››

A 5% solution

I remember the days when everyone had to pay at least some income tax. That was also the time when the annual income tax return had to be filled out by hand. Those days may still be here, but it seems that whenever I make my tax return, I don’t get ... read more ››

Where’s our Trump?

One thing I’ve noticed about our culture is that we don’t have any Donald Trumps out there. Where’s the rich tycoon with the ability to make a few million overnight? Where’s the guy who can make a deal with the devil and walk away intact and with even more money ... read more ››

Murphy’s movies

I recently watched yet another rerun of Dab Iyiyuu and it brought back memories of the day when I was in the movie business. I was a soundman, a professional sounding board (no, not a soundman sounding bored), location scout, casting director and pyrotechnical technician. We were filming fantasy stories on ... read more ››

Take my editor… please

Sometimes the old adage, “the customer is always right,” still applies. For example, one visibly outraged customer complained to me that I wasn’t funny enough to meet his demands to make him laugh. I quickly retorted “humph!” and left him still fuming. Not funny eh, we’ll see who’s not funny around ... read more ››

The Travelling Willies

At the time of this writing, I’ve been on the road for three and a half weeks and gradually becoming accustomed to the ways of the urban nomad, foraging at fast food joints and finally understanding why McD’s has sold billions upon billions of patties. I’ve been achieving the zen ... read more ››

Smarter than a ?

After scoring a dismal 75 per cent on an “Are you smarter than a fifth grader?” quiz, I resolved to relearn the things I studied (or thought I had) in school. It was a lot harder (it seemed) to answer questions back then, because we were just learning in school ... read more ››

Alice Cooper’s Offspring

Back in the 1970s, the infamous Alice Cooper was turning heads with his trademark makeup and by being the most reptilian rock star in the world’s least understood rock band. Meanwhile, Cooper penned the best tunes for adolescents everywhere while staging THE SHOW to watch. The lyrics from their best ... read more ››

Losing it big time

I once was walking (I’m lying, I was driving) by a road in Chisasibi and noticed that my cousin was walking at a quick pace. I asked him what he was up to and he replied that he was losing weight, about a pound or two. Another quick walker sashayed ... read more ››

The evolution of revolution

I recently returned from a business trip to the heart of francophone Quebec, a place where the French language is all too resoundingly in favour of putting the ’oise at the ending of every other word. I, unfortunately, have limited communication skills with la belle langue but I was nevertheless still ... read more ››

You take my breath away

It’s beginning to become quite obvious that the world is now a crowded place – unless you live in some remote area where no one is around to displease you with their opinionated version of how the world was created. It’s hard not to turn a corner without someone lambasting ... read more ››

Our goose is cooked (and roasted, boiled, smoked, dried or fried)

The secondary eyelids blinked repeatedly over her avian eyes, nearly popping out from the pressure I applied to the ribcage to force the air out of the lungs until the bird’s life was gasped out in a final breathe of air and the eyelids flickered no more, glazed over in ... read more ››

El turismo, a climate change omen

The figure, just a distant dot to the west, moved surprisingly quickly. No sound was heard, so a snowmobile was out of the question. What or who was it? It came in a zigzag, zipping back and forth. Soon it became clear, it was a man. But how did he seem ... read more ››

Forward to the not-too-distant past

A long time ago, back in the seventies, there was a place we could go to in the spring, a place that was special, a place where you changed in a rite called “your first goose.” This was usually accomplished with a single shot .410 on a lone goose that ... read more ››

Goose fever in the cornfield

The lone goose flew overhead, its honk resounding clearly. I responded instinctively, crouching and calling. A neighbor reminded me that I was away from home, visiting a small suburban community outside of Ottawa, and that spring arrives earlier in the south. The neighbor, wondering what the ruckus was (my goose calling), ... read more ››

Get a job, Jack

Some lives are inspired by the examples of others; some are inspired by nothing other than making money, which is of course, often the driving force for nearly everyone. As I type out this column, I feel the forces in my fingertips of the many genius computer nerds who created ... read more ››

The silly season

Political friends, foes and mortal enemies are all wearing the same face, that of the “if I don’t get what I want when I want, I either walk away or all over you” type of expression. Some of your best allies, then, should be your best enemies, because the trust ... read more ››

When good girls go bad…

It used to be that being bad was a boy’s domain. The snot-nosed kid with the slingshot, the ruffian with a rebel cause, the guy who would fight for his girl with switchblades twirling and grease dripping off his ’do fit the image of the good old bad boy. This image ... read more ››

Snowblind

Fine. So winter is back. I take back what I said in an earlier issue about the balmy winter. I won’t complain anymore about the warmth. Two weeks later, a perfect winter storm arose from the northwest and settled in with a vengeance (an expression I’ve heard quite often these days, ... read more ››

Getting by on by-laws

Some issues just don’t seem to go away: racism, unemployment, poor health, abuse of every kind, sorrow and injustice and a general lack of get-up-and-go attitude. Somehow, all these issues have some type of reparative or solution in the form of programs, funding, courts, or incarceration complete with laws that ... read more ››

January at the Beach

I look out onto Hudson Bay and the waves that come crashing onto the shore remind me of summer days gone by. What? Waves in January? Well, welcome to global warming, the most talked-about phenomenon since the last ice age. What can be done about it? Apparently politicians can do something, ... read more ››

The last days

This year was a tumultuous one, with the waves of progress beating on our shores of contentment and washing up the froths of excitement and or discontent. Whichever way you look at it, the last year is still memorable. The Great Accounting Book of Eeyou Istchee will record these past 12 ... read more ››