Well, we are back after an all too brief respite. You may notice a slight shift in our overall attitude and general demeanor. A kinder, gentler Rez Notes if you will. By this I mean we will not kick when some unfortunate soul is down. Rather, we intend to pummel those on their way down. Believe me, if you listen hard enough, you will hear them hit the ground. Can’t you feel it in your bones, faithful readers? It’s going to be one hot summer. And not just according to the mercury. I hear you asking yet again, “What the hell’s he on about this time?”
Maybe you’ve forgotten. Elections for Grand Chief will be held this summer. Many will run. Few will come close to the prize and only one will “Assume The Position.” Spokesman for The Cree. The Leader. The Omnipotent One. The Chosen One. Commander In Chief. Our Moses to lead us out of the wilderness we find ourselves in and to finally cross that great river, Great Whale.
Will Coon Come seek another term? I’m no student of Cree Political Science, so I was wondering, how does one run for Grand Chief anyway? Is there a written exam? Does one need to submit an essay? Or does one simply say, “Hey, I’m running. Vote for me!” A quick early morning call to our resident expert told us the candidate must be a JBNQA beneficiary of voting age and must be nominated and the said nomination seconded by another beneficiary. That sounds a little too simple for me. Think about it, any kook fulfilling these requirements could get elected provided he possesses ample charisma. Hell, even I could run. Why I would want to doesn’t matter. My point is we should be very, and I mean very, careful who we hand over the reins to. We wouldn’t want someone like yours truly in power.
Before I go overboard and announce my candidacy, here’s an item of interest to many Nation readers. Our Stop Smoking kit is in this issue for those thinking of quitting. Over here, as you may know, some of us have taken the Vow. Rez Notes will give you a blow-by-blow account of our journey to smoke-freedom. Already Flem is having second thoughts and has placed an order for a carton of Rez (no relation – Ed.) cigarettes from Kahnawake. Mrs. and Mr. Stinky, however, are deeply committed yet again. Tara remains tight-lipped about her smoking plans. “I don’t want to let anybody down,” she says. Nicotina, due to a low bank account, is doing “fine” thank you. I on the other hand consider tobacco sacred and have no comment.
Will tells me he heard no one’s signed up for Nemaska’s “Iron Man” Contest this summer. He’s thinking of competing. He said, “It won’t matter if I take a week to finish—I’ll still be recognized as the best Cree athelete, get a trophy to prove it and a chunk of that $34,000 to enjoy while I gloat. There’ll be a few people who won’t be talking so loud after that.” Please, please, don’t let this happen, he’ll be insufferable around the office and indeed around the Cree Nation as a whole. You and only you can prevent this from happening by phoning the Nemaska Recreation office. Do it now, do it today, do it for all our sakes.
Dear readers, please send your graduation classifieds early and often before the next issue’s deadline (June 7th).
See ya in two weeks.
