10. Mohawks will beat you up if you do.

9. Both parties are into the wet dream of Great Whale and NBR. 8. Romeo Saganash isn’t running for either party.

7. Two words: Le Hir.

6. You’re waiting for Billy and Walter’s Cree Beaver Party to run.

5. The two main leaders look too much like a used car salesman and a used shoe salesman.

4. Tonya Harding’s goons have been spotted wielding lead pipes outside your polling station.

3. The last political leader you trusted, Rene Levesque, is dead.

2. Two more words: Le Hir.

1. Don’t have time to follow election due to excitement over Michael and Lisa-Marie Jackson’s new baby.