Everyone thought the Crees were meeting in Waskaganish only to discuss the dimishing goose population but Grand Chief Coon Come had a surprise for the delegates that no one expected. On hand was a special representive from the other James Bay First Nation—the people commonly called Bigfoots/Sasquatches.
No only was this a historic first as a human-bigfoot meeting but a diplomatic coup for the Crees. After thousands of years of watching us, they decided Crees would be the best humans to open up diplomatic relations with. A historic Cree and Bigfoot treaty called the Small/Big-foot Agreement was enthusiatically signed and X’d. An alternate name, the James Bay and Northern Bigfoot females wear “makeup” made from ashes and the juice of red berries. Reportedly, the stains were found on many a delegate’s cheeks after the signing.
Quebec First Nations Cree/Sasquatch Agreement (JBNQFNCSA), was nixed by the Bigfoot Tribal Council as being too long. “Urr, Arrgh!” asserted Bigfoot Grand Chief Snork when the name was first suggested by a consultant.
Grand Chief Coon Come said, ‘Tm very happy about this. It should give eco-tour-ism a kick in the pants for both our peoples with the Bigfoot craze out there.”
Meanwhile, we learned a lot of things about our furry brothers. Bigfoots have a language of grunts and gestures that allows them to communicate with each other and now with us. The creatures live in tribes of 15 to 20 beasts in brushy areas where they can hide easily from intruders.
Our furry brothers have an elaborate religion in which they worship the moon, stars—and airplanes! The Bigfoot First Nation believes that airplanes are messengers from their gods and have special psychics who decode the meaning of a plane’s straight path. Air Creebec planes apparently have special significance. In fact, part of the Agreement reads “as long as the Air Creebec planes fly”
Like among Crees, children are considered tribal responsibilities. But after weaning in the Bigfoot First Nation they don’t belong to any particular adult.
Bigfoots wear clothes, but not while hunting. Most sightings of the creatures by man have been made while the furry brothers were nude and chasing prey. Part of the Agreement deals with guaranteed Bigfoot/ Cree harvest rights.
Bigfoots are omnivores who’ll eat anything that moves. But don’t be afraid as they attack only small mammals, birds and fish. They also eat berries, roots and the dung of large mammals. Part of the Agreement deals with mutual non-eating of each other’s First Nations members. Other humans in James Bay, though, are considered exempt from this provision.
Bigfoots hate to be disturbed. They especially despise snowmobilers, sport hunters, anthropologists and poachers, and occasionally they kill one. Their strong feelings have brought them to the verge of declaring open war on mankind. So part of this treaty deals with mutual alliance in the face of danger. It may surprise some to learn that they had their own referendum dealing with the threat of Quebec’s secession. The results were pretty much the same as other Quebec First Nation responses, except they also endorsed a stomping clause.
Bigfoots love sports and expect to participate in the Cree Iron Man competition as soon as they learn how to paddle a canoe.
Bigfoot females wear “makeup” made from ashes and the juice of red berries. Reportedly, the stains were found on many a delegate’s cheeks after the signing.