I’ve been very busy with the intrepid crew of Rezolution Pictures, as we capture moments of history on 8mm of high quality digital video tape. The saga of Eyasho, an incredible hero who fought off witches with sharp and deadly elbows and killed his evil father, the one who had banished him to a tiny island far off in the distance. We, who called ourselves the FAB FOUR, managed to overcome just as many ordeals as Eyasho, to make videography history.
During the course of the taping, we managed to elude hordes of adoring fans, fight off the cold with just buckskin leggings, travel at extremely high speeds through mountainous passes, ward of the weather, which just did not cooperate. Actors and actresses alike were screened carefully and only two didn’t make the cut. Our hero, who was to be imported from North Bay, couldn’t make it due to some pesky schooling, or exams or something like that and we were just aghast when we had to find a new hero for our movie.
We finally chose George “Elvis” Trapper, who seemed to have just the right types of gumption and zeal. He also looked pretty good in leggings and a loin cloth. Many a woman tried to peek during his disrobing and dressing, and we fought them off like rabid wolves. No way, we still got a peek show, when our hero somehow managed to forget to put on his loincloth and only had on his fruit of the looms and declared his readiness with gusto. After I tearfully stopped laughing many hours later, I knew that we were making history.
During one point of the shooting of the movie, Neil Diamond and Gabby had to paddle out on the Hudson Bay on a tiny canoe, which was used as a prop during the movie, and somehow, managed to be pulled out by the tide and wind. I called them on the radio and they just kept on ignoring me until it was nearly too late to come back to shore. Neil Diamond, after realizing he was nearing the point of no return, grabbed the only paddle from Gabby and tried in vain to reach us. At one point, they disappeared from sight, and I thought that I would have to give them mouth to mouth resuscitation, but luck was with me and Neil Diamond kept on paddling for all he was worth. Apparently he is worth quite a bit, and after several monstorous waves barreled down on them from behind and swamping the canoe, they washed ashore, wide eyed and breathing hard.
At another point in time, we had to do some pyrotechnics and bum an awful lot of gasoline. One of our team, who we call Luke Warmwater, had the fortunate task of lighting nearly five gallons of gasoline with a lighter. The resounding boom from the resulting explosion nearly tore the microphone out of my hand and Luke was sent scrambling for cover, as fiery objects fell from the sky and started tiny bush fires around us. The magic arrow, which we hoped would be burned to a crisp, suffered no such damage and we were amazed. The power of Eyasho can still overcome modem day explosions. Disruptions anywhere in the world cannot harm it. We tried to bum that dam arrow by soaking it in gasoline then lighting it, but still it would not bum. Wow, we all thought.
And thanks to a wonderful cast, the two sisters, Maryanne and Caroline, George and William, Sofia and her family and all the people who had to bear with us, the show went on without a hitch, (not!).