Welcome to another edition of Rez Notes where our quest is to answer that age-old question, “What the hell is goin’ on?” Yes, our spies have been working overtime and keeping their eyes and ears alert for all the weird goings on the world over. We begin.

WASKAGANISH- Be afraid, be very afraid, say extremely reliable sources. The legendary “sea monster,” Loobitsh, the Cree equivalent of which is Wasky, was seen surfacing in a river not far from the community. As is always the case in many sightings, the witnesses didn’t have cameras. More on this story as it unfolds. In other news, two young men came upon a polar bear carcass while on a canoe trip. When they returned later for the pelt the bear was gone and the guys, no doubt, were taught a valuable lesson on procrastination. More on that much later.

CHISASIBI-Thanksgiving weekend saw fierce, hardhitting badminton competition with Lise Lacaille winning in the Women’s Division. The Men’s title went to Yves Lacroix. In the doubles category, prizes went to, again, Lise Lacaille and her partner, Benoit Strasbourg. They were awarded new rackets and rollerblades. There’s an idea. Roller badminton. People are also all a titter about the upcoming Susan Aglukark gig and the Special General Assembly, both taking place around the same time. One hundred Cree Nation reps are expected. But that’s not all. There’s the monster bingo on the 19th where they’re letting a whole bunch of prize money go for the final jackpot EASTMAIN- Visitors to Eastmain be warned. There is a limit to the amount of alcohol you can bring in with you. It is: no more than one case of 24 bottles of beer or one 1.14-litre bottle of liquor or 4 litres of wine per person. These amounts cannot be combined, as if anybody would want to combine beer and wine. Anything over the limit will be seized and, here’s the interesting part, returned at a later date.

NEMASKA- Residents are to be treated to what we hope will be dazzling displays of oratory when Nemaska gathers to listen to youth opinion on Canada-Quebec relations…

OUJE-BOUGOUMOU- Practically everyone in town made the long journey to the Big Apple, to accept their UN award we’ve been hearing so much about, on the week of September 20-25. While in the city they were treated to limo tours of the city and of course spent all of their money in Manhattan’s shops. Along for the festivities were the Chief, community Elders and Eastmain’s native son, Ted Moses.

MONTREAL- It’s just a rumour right now but the prehistoric Rolling Stones might be in town again this winter in support of a new acoustic album. An even wilder version of the story is that they’ll be playing at the Forum!!! Call your friendly neighbourhood scalpers ASAP ELSEWHERE- A Philadelphia man saved a 17-month-old’s life by catching him in his arms when he fell out of a three story window.

La La Land- OJ walked.

TV- Did you catch the “alien autopsy” on TV a few nights ago? Believers claim the film was shot on and smuggled out of an Air Force base in the late 40’s after a “disc” crashlanded in a desert near the town of Roswell in the southern U.S. A whole cult of “Roswellians” has sprung up and are petitioning the people in charge of matters such as these to declassify all files on the mess. Check out UFO Weekly for “unofficial” details.