Many a time Will has wished to go up north to the fabled Great Whale River community, a land he had heard of only in whispers from Neil Diamond’s and Wernie’s corner of the office. So it was decided that Will would go to Whapmagoostui under the guise of creating an issue of each and every community starting with the north. With this in mind, Will craftily planned that he should go and see for himself what the other two have been crowing about, and lived to tell about… the Great Whale itself!
Lets see, first we’ll go to the meteorite spot, then we’ll head up the rapids, then back down to the inukshuk then speed up and down the beach until sundown. The next day, we’ll rent an ATV then go all around the town while getting a game of golf in before midday. Then we’ll interview everyone who’s anyone like there’s no tomorrow and analyze the entire community’s economy. We’ll study the social life of our peers and establish a paint gun presence in the north. By the week end, the world as we know it will have changed.
Of course, all of this would not be possible, without the tremendous effort of the one and only for this to become reality. When Will disembarked the plane soon after touchdown, he gleefully greeted me with shaking hands (for some odd reason, it snowed that day after 6 weeks of beautiful weather in the high 20’s) and busily requested shelter from the local inn. After checking in, I went to see them (Neil Diamond and Will) to find out what their game plan was. It turned out to be a very busy schedule and I did my best to accommodate their wishes, setting up interviews, giving advice I would normally give to tourists, warning about potential grumps and local weather hazards.
The biggest item was to play golf in, reputedly, North America’s roughest and toughest 9 hole course. The problem was the world famous fogs of Great Whale did their best to intimidate any Tiger wannabees by forming a layer of impenetrable ground cover. Interviews with local heroes and legends fared better, however, with information of cold war stories and Russian MIGs flying low in Canadian airspace, giving need for the Canadian Rangers, the first, last, and only line of defence we have against any nuclear warfare, or marauding and hostile foreign nations who may be crazy enough to attack the frozen north (for what may I ask?).
When nice weather finally forced out the last of the hazy fog system, the game of golf came up, with local champion Gregorian Chapeau. It was a close game, with scores of 16 over par the average for Neil Diamond and I. Of course, the local hero took the game with only a few bad swings and slices, whilst Neil Diamond and I fought over who would break the course record for lousiest player. Neil Diamond, having oodles of experience and many more chances to play in the international scene, beat the one and only by a few meager points, giving me hope and inspiration that one day I too will be as good as Gregorian, and I realized how addictive this game could be and how popular the sport is around the world. Watch out Tiger, you’ve got someone on your tail coming up fast (that would be me of course).
Will, in the meantime, was getting research work done and was working hard at his job as editor for one of the finest magazines in the Cree world, and missed quite possibly the best game of golf I ever played. His dedication knows no bounds and where there’s a will, there’s Will. Neil Diamond, on the other hand, could not do what he had desperately wanted until the final hours, when the sun finally came out and gave him light enough to take what could possibly be his best shots yet. In other words Neil Diamond finally did do what he came north for.
I must add that I, on the other hand, never will get used to the glamour of ghost writing for Neil Diamond and have decided to expose myself (in a legal way) by signing off with my real name. I have written Rez notes for more than ten months and enjoyed every issue, poking fun at politicians and other important people while at the same time trying to deliver a message to our masses. Remember, you only live once (unless you’re a devout Buddhist) so make the most of it. In the words of Paul, the songwriter. Live and Let Live.