I was looking for the Truth and I had exhausted the traditional avenues for said search.The various churches, newspapers, magazines, books, creeds, TV, friends and what haveyou. So I got on the Internet. I typed in, “The Truth.” It was instantaneous.I had a million or so matches for the truth. But it still wasn’t enough. I knew I hadno other choice but to go on bended knee to you, the always faithful, fearless andbrutally honest Nation reader.

Please answer as honestly as possible and as many questions as you dare. Mail, E-mail,fax or drop off this handy tear off page and your name and address to our office complex.It’s important and these things mean a lot to you. A mystery prize will be awarded to thereader who sends in his or her answers first. What the hell, a prize for the last onetoo. Who’s with me!?!?

l. Have you ever been in a bar room brawl? [_] yes [_] no

2. How many of the 10 commandments have you violated? (please list)

3. How much would you sell a kidney for? $_________

4. Have you ever: [_] seen a UFO [_] been abductedEXPLAIN:

5. Favourite drink

6. Have you ever eaten “food” out of a dumpster? [_] yes [_] no

7. Do you have a wacky neighbour like Kramer? [_] yes [_] no

8. Have you ever lied (about):

[_] to get laid
[_] to get a job
[_] to get out of job
[_] age
[_] weight

9. Marital status:

[_] single
[_] married
[_] still looking
[_] getting desperate

10. Have you ever read anyone’s mail?

[_] yes [_] no

12. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done to someone?

13. Have you ever been indicted? [_] yes [_] no

14. Do you believe in heaven and hell?

[_] yes [_] no

15.Have you ever seen a ghost?

[_] yes [_] no

16.Do you ever talk to yourself? [_] yes [_] no

17. Has your mother ever told you you were special?[_] yes [_] no

18. Have you ever filed for income tax?

[_] yes [_] no

19. Have you ever cheated on an exam?

[_] yes [_] no

20. Did you ever read someone else’s diary?[_] yes [_] no

21. Have you ever worn your underwear inside out because you ran out?

[_] yes [_] no

22. Have you ever been to a psycho analyst?[_] yes [_] no

23. Do you wanna be startin’ somethin’?[_] yes [_] no

24. Most cash you’ve stolen: $________

25. Do you like your drinks:

[_] shaked [_] stirred [_] straight up

16. Your final thought: