ARTICLES BY Thelma and Louise

“Life is a glass-full of maraschino charries”

Leo (July 23-Aug 23) Twinkle, twinkle little Leo. How we wonder how you are. Shining above the rest so high. Like the sunshine in the sky. Twinkle, twinkle little Leo, guess we know just how you are… (Kool, eh!) As you can see, you have reason to believe. Virgo (Aug 24-Sept ... read more ››

Twilight Zone

Leo (July 23-Aug 23) Put your ego on the shelf. The holier than thou “nez en l’air” attitude is going to take you to Splitsville. Nobody cares to hear about your conquests. Try living like a real person for once. Things might get going for you then. Virgo (Aug 24-Sept 22) ... read more ››

“Unmask the dirty secrets of the ZONE”

Leo (July 23-Aug 23) Irresistible, charming and intense. They are open to all signals and wishes. Pleasure giving is extremely important for Leo’s. Biggest downfall Is their unpredictable and incomprehensible jealousy. A new position will surely give them multiple orgasms. Virgo (Aug 24-Sept 22) On one hand, they want to be the ... read more ››

The Message is in the lyrics

The Message is in the lyrics (no need to spin the record backwards!) While sitting in the dark surrounded by a haze of smoke (don’t ask…),imagining the worst (let’s not go there Louise says…), we came up with a dementedidea of how to make the Twilight Zoners scream this time around. So ... read more ››

Welcome to TOTAL Insanity

Cancer (June 22-July 22) Happy BirthdayCancerian brethrens, a word of warning to you on this joyousoccasion of yours: You might consider picking up some holy waterand a few stout wooden stakes. They’ll come in handy soon, although we arestill trying to figure how…(?) Leo (July 23-Aug 23) PLEASE!?! Sometime soon you ... read more ››

Your Horrorscope: June 19

Gemini (May-June 21) The craving for variety is inherent. Continually searching for exciting diversions is almost a full-time job. Avoid routine and monotonous activity like the plague. You are constantly carried off by the wind, which is fueled by your inner thirst for challenging experiences. Cancer (June 22-July 22) The greatest ... read more ››

Your Horrorscope

Gemini (May 20-June 21) You are at your zenith of your ability to perform great and notable things. Utilize this period of power to resolve all postponed problems. Relax and let the good times roll. Cancer (June 22-July 22) You’re regaining your self-esteem, and this new dimension of pride will give you ... read more ››

Your ruling houses according to Thelma & Louise

Gemini (May 20-June 21) Happy Birthday to the Twins of the zodiac! Get ready for a summer of complete and utter chaos (as if you would have it any other way, huh!) Geminis rule the 3rd house of the zodiac, this is where your natural curiosity comes from and gets ... read more ››

Yourself and your connection to the cosmos

Taurus (April 20-May 19) Venus is this sign’s ruler. Thus Taureans are sensualists. Those born under this sign are obsessed with accumulating wealth (yawn…) Earth is their element and because of this, they are said to be practical but constantly wary of the future and its possibilities. Gemini (May 20-June 21) Geminis are ... read more ››

Your Horrorscope

The Taurus (April 20-May 19) Happy B-Day to our brass bulls. What starts off as curiosity could lead you to a whole new dimension. Piece of advice to you from: “When I look back on all these memories, I remember the story of the old man who said, on his death ... read more ››

Alive ‘n’ Bitching!

Aries (March 21 -April 19) Happy belated Birthday to our dear rambunctious ram. Everything is la-di-da for you really. Plan days of non-stop action. You have plenty of energy to spare you square. So take care. Taurus (April 20-May 19) Listen to call of the wild. You are becoming more impulsive, go with ... read more ››

Pisces (Feb 19-March 20) Change is in the air.

Pisces (Feb 19-March 20) Change is in the air. However, you are feeling ignored and unwanted. But cheer up “sushi” we still love ya. You are headed in a new direction. There is also a possibility of new romance. Keep those hawk eyes peeled. Aries (March 21-April 19) You are feeling ... read more ››

Your Horrorscope

Pisces (Feb 19-March 20) Happy B.Day to the fish of the zodiac. The Goddesses of the Zone grant you entrance into our private legion. We have enlisted you in counter intelligence operations. Your complete obedience is the only requirement. Your call sign: “sushi”. Your mission: to protect your superiors with ... read more ››

Aquarius Gan 20-Feb 18) Avoid the two extremes of too much and too little.

Aquarius Gan 20-Feb 18) Avoid the two extremes of too much and too little. You’ve been suffering from dream stagnation. You’ll be awakening from this fairytale spell. Gaze into a new state of consciousness. You will no longer tolerate that which you have so long tolerated. Pisces (Feb 19-March 20) The ... read more ››

Your Horrorscope

Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18) Your fear of deep emotional involvement is gone. Make yourself more accessible by accentuating your sex appeal. Keep in touch with those inner signals which will allow you to graduate into the field of romance. Be on the prowl for a soulmate. Pisces (Feb 19-March 20) You’ve ... read more ››

Your Horrorscope

Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18) Happy Birthday Aquarius. According to astral charts everything should be hunky-dory. But hey, let’s get real. You’re dealing with Thelma & Louise here and things are not always what they seem. Still scratching your frontal lobe for any sensation? Wondering why Santa left you a piece ... read more ››

Your Horrorscope: Food for thought for 1998

(Yes, we are in the holiday spirit) Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 19) Now it’s the time to reflect on the past year. Look at what has been done and look at what is left to do. Focus your energy on becoming more assertive for this is the area that needs much work. ... read more ››

Aquarius, Honest, Loveable, Humane, Open-Minded, Detached.

“Astrology is a complex science which can only be mastered by the very best.” There you go!So Thelma and Louise invite you to take a glimpse of the character type of each sign, whichwill enable you to learn more about yourself and others. This might make it easier for thecommon ... read more ››

The Twilight Zone Your Horoscope

Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18) Okay. You’re okay. Don’t worry about a thing. Okay? You’re fine. So strut your stuff. Okay? As for your love life…it’s a big, swollen boil on your butt!Saturn is in the house of Pluto, whose aunt is Uranus. So this might help.So keep your fingers dry. Pisces (Feb 19-March ... read more ››