Once upon a time, there was a young Cree with great ambitions. He was going to take the computer world by storm and he had all the right credentials. Yes, he looked like Bill Gates. After completing studies in the then unknown world of computing and Basic language, he went to work at a local radio station, where he wreaked havoc with the airtime. His smooth-talking shows often warned the townsfolk of impending dangers, like who was coming to paint the town red during regional meetings. I even heard him tell the people to lock up the women and daughters because so and so was arriving. I used to think that Mistissini was a ghost town, until I heard the real truth, straight from the horse’s mouth.
Yep, his name is Will and he’s got the power. Many people think rather strangely of this brilliant man, but I know better. He’s just a frustrated hacker who remembers the days when the ones who knew how to use a keyboard and type commands from memory are now just that, history and memories. And then, we introduced him to the teachings of Marconi and Bell and there was no looking back for him. The idea of communications and the power of the word never left him since that time.
Yes, he is Will Nicholls, intrepid editor of the Nation. Now where is Will today? He is somewhere in Ecuador or Chile or Peru. I understand that the people down there value someone like Will for his fair hair and skin. It’s just the right complexion for a makeover South American style. In a way, I envy Will, because he gets to travel the world, usually at the request of others who need his skills.
Now, just what the heck would Will be doing in South America? Planning to join the other underdog forces and fight the governments? Search for the cure for cancer? Reforest the rain forest? Train guerrillas in Cree hunting and trapping tactics? Renegotiate and create a new North American and South American tax-free trade agreement? Create a new market for our floundering fur trade industry? Maybe he just wants cheaper coffee beans. Perhaps he has to increase the sales market of the Nation. Who knows? I just hope that he comes back in one piece so I can get paid for writing this column.
Speaking of this column, I haven’t heard much from readers (except from the ones who drool) about Reznotes. I would like to know and hear from our dear readers (if there are any out there) about what you would like to see on this page, because sometimes I just get stuck with fresh ideas.
I don’t get to travel much and see the rest of Eeyou Istchee because we have no road allowing me the freedom to leave the beautiful north in a car or truck when I run out of toilet paper (which constitutes a family emergency and any reason will do). Or is it a conspiracy to keep me up here and completely out of touch with the rest of the free world. I could be protesting right now in Montreal against the World Trade Organization (WTO) alongside Aaron and Neil. If you look closely at the television news, you can see that they are wearing the traditional Cree woman’s scarf hiding their features, a la Lasagna.
In any case, if Will ever returns with his fair complexion intact and hair still atop his cranium, the world must be ready for his return to glory as editor in chief of the Nation. This gives me the opportunity to return his favours as being the target of his editorial slings and arrows while he is still safely out of the country.