Rez Notes calling Ndiamon, come in, over …(hiss, snap, crackle, pop….radio static)

Come on Neil….

Neil’s down in Cuba where no American dares to go for fear of economic reprisal, but Neil has got nothing to lose. I like this James Bond stuff already, writing for Rez Notes while Neil’s gone.

“What do I have to write?” I ask the main operative down at Nation Headquarters.

“Anything juicy, any gossip,” replies Q. “We’re looking for a temporary replacement writer for Neils’column. Gotta be funny nosey can write and willing to risk everything (professionally) for page two of the great, award-winning Nation magazine and you fit the bill.”

“Wow. Credentials, finally,” me thinks.

I then think about Neil and his secret meeting with the former Soviet Counter-Semi-Intelligent mole operative glancing around nervously as he is finally passed the enigmatic (Waskaganish Band) resolution #52 down by the quay, sipping rum and avoiding dangerous women. Talk about dangerous times…hey, Saddam is busy building anthrax bombs and weapons of mass destruction while closer to home, us ordinary folks get AIDS from sex and guys like Clinton get sex from aides. Clinton has enough power to say “make love and war” in a single breath, while us normal guys get to breath hard only after a lovey dovey discussion turns sour and all hell breaks loose.

Enough comparisons already. Had a lot of feedback from my “North Pole” exposure in Cree@Large. Left a lot of people wondering. I suppose everyone interpreted that one form all kinds of perspectives.I was envisioned behind bars, in front of cameras, a blatant advertiser of my prowess(powers to others), a cute guy, Dalai Llama of Northern Quebec and most of all, funny. Enough of me.

While looking for juicy gossip and anything dirty for “Q”, I came across the forgiveness factor in Nemaska for anyone who commits a crime and confesses immediately after. I should have thought of that tactic on New Year’s morning when Nemas-ka’s finest interrupted my early morning drive ( I replaced the early morning jog a long time ago in favour of a sedentary lifestyle, thus my near perfect physique). I’m sorry, I apologize, let me off the hook, I’ll never do it again. I promise. Okay? (Let’s see if that works). Apparently, the Nemaska Band Office got broken into and the safe robbed, but the robbers immediately confessed to the community, which by the way, is an infringement of their rights to a fair trial, public confession or no public confession.

The youth in general face a disappointment by not being able to travel to Waitangi, New Zealand.Apparently, the timing to hold anything in NZ is better in December, but it so happens that would beduring peak shopping, tournament, exams etc. for Crees. Hockey Tourney in New Zealand, anyone?Anyway, everyone down there has a headache from all the blood collected in their brain from hangingaround upside down all day (an Aussie joke).

Did you know that in Cuba, there is a museum dedicated to foiled assassination attempts on Castro?

Talk about luck.

Ndiamon, come in, over……..Come in Neil….(Bzzz, crackle, pop, hiss…)