Hello everybody! Sorry for not being able to write in the last few issues of The Nation.
I had to focus a little more on my own life.
I am right now trying to deal with my past and present self. Dealing with my inner child and the adult I am now. This issue I will write about and try to explain “The Inner Child.”
Our inner child plays a major role in the actions we take as adults. I believe in what I write about and also strongly believe that by sharing our experiences with each other we guide each other and encourage each other to take that first step in healing ourselves. Healing ourselves does not only mean getting off the drugs and alcohol, but digging up old traumas we’ve experienced and getting rid of them. That saying, “We can forgive, but we can never forget,” is true.
We can’t forget our most traumatizing experiences but if we forgive those who hurt us I guarantee your wounded spirit will finally be mended.
Did you know that it’s us who wounds our spirit, by taking alcohol and drugs and basically by disrespecting ourselves? Not taking care of ourselves? We can be well groomed on the outside, but inside we are full of garbage. We all carry garbage in us, garbage meaning things that hurt us that we can’t let go of. It’s out garbage that makes us hate, hold grudges, be corrupt and so on. And teaching yourself more about your “Inner Child” will help you release some of your garbage.
When we keep our garbage for so long it makes us someone we don’t want to be. For instance, a bad mother, a bad father, a person who sexually abuses, a person who physically abuses and what-not. When we are someone we don’t want to be, we are not in touch with our own selves. We live with our past. That is why we feel insecure.
I want to share with you about this workshop I attended in Cochrane, Ontario. The workshop was an “Inner Child” workshop. It helped us deal mostly with what had happened to us as children and also letting go of the abuses we faced as adults. I’ve never experienced anything more powerful and intense than this workshop. It actually put our hearts back where they belong. And to finally accept what had happened to us and be rid of our shame and appreciate ourselves and also love ourselves. We were taught to deal with our anger. We did a lot of crying. It felt good because crying is a form of healing.
But before I continue about my story at the Inner Child workshop, I’ll explain in a few words what my understanding of Inner Child is for those who don’t quite understand. Our Inner Child is the little girl or boy in us. Who we were as children. When we sometimes get angry as adults because we think to what had happened to us when we were young. You may have been been physically, sexually, emotionally, verbally abused. Maybe it hasn’t crossed your mind yet, but when we go back into the past, feeling sad about what had happened to us, it’s the little child you once were that’s feeling sad.
And it’s up to the adult in you to heal your Inner Child, to finally put her to rest and that is by dealing with your Inner Child’s experiences, by talking, crying, sharing and forgiving. Forgiving does not necessarily mean confrontation but forgiving in your heart by letting go and not holding grudges. Then you can grow and be happy. Now I will continue with my story of the workshop.
I felt at this workshop I was starting over, throwing away some of my Inner Child’s hurts and pains. But now it’s up to me not to bring them back. As I was taught at the workshop, “Don’t feel sorry for yourself.” The problem a lot of us have is “that poor me” attitude. I must admit I tend to do that also. And when we do that we don’t feel good about ourselves. This is one of the reasons why we have all these disorders, whether it’s eating, fatigue and/or picking on people we love.
It also taught us not to judge others by the way they look. Did you ever took at someone and think to yourself, that person looks mean, because of their facial expression? But did it ever cross your mind that that person was born that way? Or the innocent look someone has, maybe they’re not so innocent. That’s judging. We had to look at a person and say whether or not we trusted them. It was hard telling someone we did not trust them. But what we had to do was look at someone by the way they carry themselves and not by the way they look. You obviously can tell if someone ts angry or happy by their actions and the way they carry themselves. One exercise was for some who don’t know how to say No. We were taught that saying No was okay and that their boundaries have to be respected. For instance, for some women who get physically abused by their spouse, their boundary is being invaded just by being beat up. She has the right to say No, that she doesn’t want to get beat up; she has the right to leave if no respect is being shown to her because no one has the right to take their frustrations out on her.
This workshop is the best workshop I’ve ever attended because I let go of so much of my own garbage. The people who work there are people who also at one time attended this workshop. And they are there to guide you in letting go of your sorrows. But it’s up to an individual to let go of their garbage and in the end you have only yourself to thank if you make that decision to finally release your pain. But I have to mention healing is ongoing and you don’t heal overnight or in a couple of days. Healing is a lifetime process. Like I mentioned before, we have to stop feeling sorry for ourselves, because the sad fact about keeping all our garbage is we pass it down to our children. For instance, if we didn’t get much love as children, we in return carry that cycle and we treat our children the same way. But this does not necessarily mean everybody.
Some people hit their kids, why? Take a look at yourself and ask yourself that question. Another question we have to ask ourselves is why we are so impatient with our children. Why do we yell at them when their purpose of being young is exploring, and by exploring that’s how they learn and grow, to understanding this big world from their shoes. Ever wonder why our children don’t listen to us. Because we don’t listen to them. So think about this.
In conclusion, I would just like to say that we have to take off our masks and be ourselves, stand up for ourselves and appreciate ourselves for who we are. If anyone has ever told you that crying and speaking about your pains is wrong, don’t listen to them. It’s okay to cry and it’s okay to speak out about our burdens. The Creator gave us tears and a voice. Sure we have tears of joy but joy is not all we experience. And how quiet the world would be if we couldn’t voice ourselves.