What makes the world go round, ooooohhh, la la la la lalaooooh…for some reason the Gibb brothers’ words go through my mind over and over again. The Beegees in their heyday sure could croon a tune. Back to reality. It’s Mother’s Day this 13 of May and many wishes to all mothers and to their children, who hopefully will not forget this very special day (like I did year after year). Nothing like a nice gift for your momma to remind her how much she helps make your world go round.

In another train of thought, a spring heat wave seems to have hit the North with a vengeance. I know my polar ice cap is melting when I’m just sitting there bathed in my own sweat. According to reliable sources (mainly street gossip), global warming is really happening and will catch you unawares. In the North, it is noticeably warmer and with shorter winters making spring seemingly arrive a few weeks earlier than usual with record breaking high temperatures over extended periods. This is taking its toll on Northern folks and animals and slowly baking us over coming months. Bit of advice, wear lotsa sun lotion and cool shades.

Sometimes I like it when it’s forty below and I don’t mind the clean white winter landscapes. The only problem is, when you wear your winter coat you have to wear it all winter or else people won’t recognize you and wonder who the new person is. This creates confusion and it is assumed you have left town. I notice too that in the North, people always wave at you when you go by. Since I have not been here for that long, sometimes I wonder whom I’m waving back to. Better a wave than the finger, I think.

With global warming, we wouldn’t have to wear winter clothes, ever. Think of the losses to the goose down industry, not to mention the fur markets. With icebergs becoming smaller, we could afford to make a movie based on Paddle to the Sea and the Titanic all rolled into one and make megabucks selling Leonard d’Neacapio T-shirts and tiny souvenir birch bark canoes.

With global warming, we could trade directly with the Europeans, since we’re closer and there would be no ice cap in the way, we could sail straight over the North Pole. We could use 250-foot freighter canoes with 1000 horses and be trading with Latvians. The only problem would be that it could take a hundred years before this becomes a reality and it takes a little longer to grow cedar trees that big to use in the canoes.

I suppose we would have to relocate all the coastal communities, since the water levels in the oceans will rise and the size of Quebec would shrink, while washing Montreal up to the Laurentians. Houseboat sales will soar and so will agricultural areas. I can imagine we wouldn’t have much fish to eat, since fish are temperature regulated and the warmer waters won’t sustain arctic flora and fauna. Perhaps the Arctic char will adapt and change to sub-arctic char and shrimp will grow a little bigger. Ring seals will be replaced with sea-lions and we would probably play water polo with them. Maybe the berries will grow larger and we won’t have to import them anymore.

All in all, I can’t wait for longer summers.