An invasion of muskoxen… oxes?… oxi? The usual UFO sightings. A close encounter with Jimmy Herman. Cree brave urinates on a Val d’Or police cruiser. Juvenile delinquents arrested at Chisasibi “commercial.” A postcard from Cuba. Reader’s poll comments. Film at eleven.
I miss those dramatic intros to T.V. news shows back in the days before instantaneous video. It could be my imagination but I have vague memories of sideburned, polyester-clad anchormen kicking off their broadcasts with over-dramatized teasers and this apocalyptic music playing in the background. I guess everyone had to wait until eleven for the pictures back then. And would watch the news at six o’clock with only badly dressed anchors suffering bad hair years reading the news. They’ve come a long way, babies.
A Cree youth at the Val d’Or tournament stepped up to a parked police cruiser and whipped out his penis and proceeded to piss on said vehicle. The cops got out and turned him around towards the curb. One of the constables was overheard saying to the other, in French, “He’s very lucky there’s witnesses around.” And the party continued.
A muskox was spotted by Samuel Cox of Chisasibi not too long ago. The theory is that it followed a caribou herd from the great white North. Someone who does not want their name to appear said more than 10 were spotted far inland. Mmmmm. Muskox burgers. I think I tried those at the Spirit of the Arctic pavillion in T.O. two years ago. They smelled like fish but tasted like chicken.
There was the usual UFO sighting just outside Chisasibi. Several hovering lights were spotted by the guys who work at the security gate confiscating alcohol. Someone oughta appoint a commission, I tell ya.
We have received several entries for our Win-A-Date-With-Erland-Contest. One postcard was addressed to the International Erland Campbell Fan Club and reads, “Hi! I came across your magazine while vacationing in Cuba (Does Fidel have a subscription??) It’s a fantastic magazine – keep up the good work! I was reading about “Mr. Entertainment’ and was hoping that I’m not too late to enter the “Win-A-Date-With-Erland-Contest “McDonald’s and a movie would be great – after all it is the company that counts! What more could one ask for than “Mr. Entertainment”!! I’m 6’1” and attractive and I’ll be back in Montreal by the time you get this. Thanks! “Keep those postcards coming readers and you could be the lucky winner and get to “know” Erland. After dinner at a fancy McDonald’s and a romantic movie of your choice.
Don’t forget our Photo-With-Celebrity-Contest So far we have two entries. Our distinguished panel of judges will select the winner based on following criteria. The most famous celebrity will receive 10 points. For instance, O.J., Bill Clinton or David Letterman are worth 10. Whereas, in our first entry with Jimmy Herman of North of 60 pictured above with Richard Mark of Waskaganish merits two points. The other point -etter is the proximity of the celebrity to the contestant If you’re pictured in the background with Matthew Coon Come, you’d receive 1.5. And so on and so forth. So, send those photos in.
There’s a show on CNN hosted by two guys who go by the names Pilgrim and Savidge. Get it?
For your reading pleasure, we give you your reader’s poll comments (see p.16): “Love it. Want advice column for drugs, booze, sex, etc.,” “Stop picking on my dad….,” “Make the Nation thicker- it gets thinner every time,” “Whatever happened to Our Pick,” “Used to like it. Now too negative,” “Doing a fine job. Have heard no complaints yet,” “Cover should be in colour, improve the classifieds.” And last but certainly not least, “Rez Notes sucks!” An investigation is underway as to the origin of that one.